Nici's Blog

Nici Schueler

Hi, I am the founder of SSEW - here I share my snippets of my expat journey. Enjoy

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WHEN I CHEATED

WHEN I CHEATED

When I began my expat journey it was like I was entering into a long-distance relationship. I was leaving my love; my life partner and I had only ever been with one. Australia. Specifically – Melbourne. The only country I had ever lived in. My first and only. We had been together a VERY long time…

Saying goodbye to move to Singapore was going to be rough. We had never been apart for longer than a few weeks at a time. In my mind, I had it clear. I would go, but my heart would remain in Melbourne. Yes. I would visit my beloved Melbourne often. We would stay connected. I would think of Melbourne every day and keep our love alive – after all it was only for 3 years. Any relationship can survive that. I would keep my Melbourne friendships active – speak often and see them when I visited. My daughter would also not lose her solid Melbourne friendships. We would be committed to Melbourne… now and always.

I left my photo albums, artwork and most of our furniture at home – no point bringing them. This wasn’t real relationship after all… I was just on a lengthy ‘trip’. I wouldn’t get attached to Singapore – I wouldn’t even bother decorating where we lived – just make it comfortable and get the basics. Yeh. My TRUE home was in Melbourne. this was just a phase.

In Singapore, the plan was going well. I thought of Melbourne every day counting the days until I could return. I was remaining loyal. My love was strong.
When asked by Singapore taxi drivers where I was from I said “Melbourne”. I was rock solid. My trips back to home to Melbourne were incredible. I let myself get enveloped in the Melbourne love. Friends, family, old haunts – I made arrangements to visit EVERYONE I knew. I would leave those visits with a heavy heart – sad to come back to Singapore.

The plan was working. For a while…until…after some month Singapore began flirting with me. Showing me her magnificence. I’ll admit…I started to notice. My goodness. she was magnificent. Spectacular. Singapore was indeed a vibrant and rich tapestry of gastronomic delights, history, nightlife, culture… I felt myself getting swept away in her intoxicating abundance. I began to think of her often throughout the day. “STOP!” I would think to myself “What are you DOING?? What about MELBOURNE?? You are COMMITTED to another country!!!”

As much as I tried to push my Singapore thoughts aside they persisted. I couldn’t deny it. We had chemistry. Singapore, it seemed was my temptress. The parties, the ladies’ nights, the themed functions, the grand balls, the helper, the freedom, I felt young again! This was indeed the green grass on the other side and I liked it. I liked it a lot…
Our contract came up for renewal. Here was my chance. My chance to go back to my love…my Melbourne.

Only… I wasn’t ready. Not at all. I’d had a taste and I couldn’t stop. I seemed to be consumed with Singapore. I was conflicted. I was betraying Melbourne. Worse. I was cheating on Melbourne. Another country it seemed… was stealing my heart. Where was my heart? Perhaps I could love both? I was completely perplexed.
Soon, Flying HOME to Melbourne became flying ‘home’ to Melbourne. Landing in Changi became exhilarating. I couldn’t WAIT to go back into the arms of my… my new love.
It was at that moment I knew I had to choose where my heart needed to nestle. At least for the time being. I broke up with Melbourne. We would still see each other, we would fondly embrace, but just as friends.

Entering into our 7th year and Singapore and I are still an item. We don’t go out and party as much as we used to… we are happy to just chill and live each day as it comes.
For now, I don’t want to get married – just see where things go. I ‘m planning to get some real furniture soon… and some potted plants. We may be together awhile ❤

Nici Schueler

Hi, I am the founder of SSEW - here I share my snippets of my expat journey. Enjoy

Nici signature small

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